Horrible Gramma

Ok, so here's the deal...I got a call from my daughter-in-law Monday. She left me a voice mail (I was at work) asking if I could keep one of the boys when she & my son go to Vegas in August. This is bad. In today's world, it is accepted, Hell, even expected that grandparents will care for their children's offspring on a regular basis, even to the point of raising them. This is the "way it works" so to speak, in most families.
My in-laws rarely keep our boy, and my parents are both gone, so we don't get much "help", and time child-free is almost non-existent for us. On occasion, Stacey or Rosa will keep him over night, and on very rare occasions (usually if I have to work on Saturday, which kinda ruins the benefit) she'll take him to the lake for a weekend in the Summer. But as a rule, if we aren't at work, we are in the company of the (usually) sweet (monster) boy. And he requires a lot of...well, something. I'm not implying in any way, shape or form that I think this is bad, just trying to explain our situation, and why we feel the way we do about this request.
We are not a typical Grandparents (in case you hadn't picked up on that). For one thing, Hunny and I both work full time (I work at least 40 a week, and he usually works 60 a week). My schedule is really screwy, and what time I have off is usually so full, I work harder on my days off than I do when at work...Now I know many of today's grandparents still work full-time, as grandkids are coming along earlier in life. But let's add in to my mix the fact that I have a five year old of my own. I still deal with a little one, usually to the point of exasperation every day. Most folks who are grandparents have children that are grown, or at least mostly grown.
If my (usually) sweet (monster) boy had never put in an appearance, my life would be very different. I would be more than happy to take my grandkids and keep them for a weekend, or a week, or...well, you get the picture. But he did. My life is much better for that, but consequently much fuller, and quite frankly I really have absolutely no desire to chase a 16 month old, Mama's boy who freaks out whenever his parents aren't in sight, or provide the constant attention required by a 4 month old. And deal with my 5 year old. He's a handful all by himself!
I talked to Hunny about this, and my reluctance to do this, and he agreed with me (I love my wonderful, supportive husband!).
She hasn't called back yet, which her message said she would do, but when she does, I'm afraid it's going to start a "family feud." I love my grandkids, but between work, my (usually) sweet (monster) boy, and ongoing health issues, I'm just not up for it. I'm a horrible gramma. And probably a horrible mother-in-law...
Any feedback, comments, opinions or advice would be welcome at this point. I really do love my grandkids, as well as my son & daughter-in-law, but I just can't go there. I think it would be a bad idea, for everyone involved.
Ok, gotta get ready for work...ugh!
See ya laterzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!    

Oh No, No Post...

Ok, I committed the cardinal sin of blogging, and didn't post here yesterday. I'm sorry *looking apologetic* It was a loooong weekend.

Sometime about the beginning of April, my hunny starts back racing. For the season. EVERY Saturday. Now don't get me wrong, I don't really have a problem with him doing this. Everybody has to have things they do without their "other half" or the relationship gets smothery. But on a weekend like this one, I could just scream...ARRRRGGGGHHHH.

Our boy was in fine form - just remove the "usually" and "sweet" from my description of him, and there you have it! He definitely earned the title "Monster Boy" over the past few days.

Saturday started okay...but then we had to start motorvating, so we could go see Mamaw & Papaw. He was so excited about going over there, it was the first thing out of his mouth as he came out of his room after waking up, and was again mentioned every, oh I don't know, FIVE MINUTES. But when it came time to get ready, he wanted to hem & haw around (as usual).

Me: "Get dressed so we can go see Mamaw & Papaw."

Him: "OK" and scurried off to room

Me: (10 minutes later) "Hey...what're you doing in there?"

Him: (Coming out of room butt naked) "Nothing."
Me: "Why aren't you dressed..?"

Him: "I can't find a shirt." He has a HUGE drawer Full of shirts...

Me: "How can you not find a shirt..? Did you look in your drawer?"

Him: "No"

Me: "No? No? What have you been doing? Go get dressed!"

Him: "OK."

Now you would think I would learn...apparently I was at the bottom of the class for "Learning How to Follow-up With Kids Getting Dressed." Did I follow him into room to make sure he got a shirt? Nope. Did I check in two minutes, which is how long it should have taken? Nope. I went into my room to get dressed.

Me: (15 minutes later) "Hey kiddo, c'mon we gotta go if we're going to get there today..."

Him: (Coming out of room still butt naked) "Huh?"

Me: "What're you doing in there? Why aren't you dressed? Do you want to go to see Mamaw & Papaw..?"

Him: "Yes!"

Me: "Then GET SOME CLOTHES ON."

Him: "Sheesh, you don't hafta yell. All you hafta do is ask."

Me: Under my breath "Mumble, mutter, ask he says...grumble, yell if I need to! &%*#*^*%$&."

Him: (Scurrying to room and back) "Look Mom, I got clothes, can you help me get dressed?"

Me: (Still grumbling) "You're a big boy, why do you need me to help..? *sigh* Bring 'em here."

So I finally got him dressed and off we go. The day went downhill from there. We had tears, we had backtalk, we had yells (from both sides, if I'm being honest...), we had stubbornness. What we didn't have was a new game or toy from the store. I can stick to my guns...sometimes....

Oh yeah, and we had sneakiness. I firmly believe he is an attorney - probably defense - in a 5 year old body. If there's a way around it or a loophole through it, whatever IT may be, he can find it. GRRRR

On the way to the grandparents house, we had a talk during which I told him "No pestering (he's the most persistent kid on the planet, I swear), no asking about the bike, no asking about the video game, DON'T PESTER, we're going to visit Mamaw & Papaw, not their toys."

That worked out real well.

When we got there, our niece Abby was visiting, she's about a yearish younger than my boy. About 5 minutes into the visit, he looks at Papaw and says "Did Abby bring a bike for her?" My ears perked up at this, and I flashed him a warning look. Yes, he saw, he knew what he was doing, he kept looking towards me to see my reaction to his question. I said "AH AH AH AH" or some similar Mom noise. Both grandparents looked at me like I was nuts...

Me: "Hey! What did we talk about in the car? Didn't I say NO BIKE questions"

Him: "You said not to ask about my bike"

Me: "GRRRRRRRRRR"
Papaw: "Aww Abby has her bike on the porch, I'm sure he saw that and asked..."

At which point my boy rushes over to the couch, climbs up and looks out the window, seeing the bike FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Me: "He didn't see that bike! I told him he couldn't ask about "his" bike while we were here, so he found a way around it..."

What do you do..? He technically did what I told him, he didn't ask about "his" bike, or if he could ride it...he asked about Abby's bike. See? attorney in a 5 year old body. If there's an angle, he can work it. And, Saturday was only half over...I can feel my blood pressure rising, and the gray hairs forming as I type....*sigh*

But, it was a successful visit, and fun was had by all :)


On a serious note, this is a problem in our household, I feel it would be BAD to stifle this in my boy, but on the other hand, it makes for some trying situations. Like I told hunny the other day, I want him to think for himself, and not follow the crowd or timidly do as he's told all his life. Authority figures are not God/desses, and make mistakes, including us. He shouldn't unquestioningly do what he's told when he's told for the rest of his life. But I can't have him questioning us every time we ask or tell him to do something. I'm nearing my wits end, and I still have a loooong way to go on this ride...

*H*E*L*PPPPPP

Ah well, that's all for now

See ya laterzzzzzz