Monday, April 21, 2008

It's Baaaack

Well. it's back. The pain that is. Ok, that's not exactly accurate 'cuz it never really went away. It just had lessened enough for a week or so that it wasn't in the forefront of my thoughts. What pain, you say? That's a good question. It's not in any specific part of my body - well it is, but not always the same part of my body. Sometimes it settles in my lower back and hips, making it painful to walk, stand, sit or lie down. It has also settled in my calves, making it feel as if I had done a thousand lunges ( I hadn't). It has been in my spine & neck. It has been in my forearms. Currently it is making it's presence felt in my shoulders and upper arms. It hurts. A lot.

How weird, huh? The magical moving It will usually settle in an area for a week or so, than wander to a different body part. The last week or so, it has been almost non-existent. Not gone, no, never gone, but very mild. To the point I could basically ignore it. But this morning it has reared it's ugly little head to say "Hey, didja miss me? I'm back."

From what research I've done, I think it may be Fibromyalgia. My doctor has also suggested this, without my mentioning it first, but he is hesitant to make this diagnosis. He wants to rule out other stuff first. I've had tests - dear Goddess have I had tests. Tests (Heh, I types testes there...roflmao) for rheumatoid arthritis, for osteoarthritis, body scans, tests with wires running to me, one where I was injected with radioactive stuff. All negative. I have another tomorrow. I wish he would make a determination and get on with it *sigh*

There is no cure for fibromyalgia, but there are treatments, It isn't fatal, just life long pain....but that I can deal with, mostly :) But the diagnosis, any diagnosis at this point, would be reassuring. At least then I would know I'm not imagining things. I'm not losing my mind (not that I have much left of that...) I've had intense headaches for years. Well, really just one looooong headache that varies in intensity. I can sleep 12 hours (mmmmm...sleep) every night and still be exhausted. I have other issues I won't go into here, but that are considered symptoms of fibromyalgia. It would explain a lot. (I don't really, in the "front" of my brain think I am, but there's that evil little voice in the back saying "Pain doesn't move around your body! You're looking for attention. Want people to feel sorry for poor little you." I DON'T. I've tried to beat this voice into submission, but it's pretty tough. I don't listen to it much, but sometimes, laying in bed, trying to find a position that is comfortable for more than two minutes, it'll catch me off-guard and start in...

Ok, enough sniveling for now. I'll probably be back later, hopefully in a better frame of write...heh.

See ya laterzzzzzz

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