Picture from Illustrated Word
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
The first true example was back in the last week of October, 2005. He wasn't quite 3 yet. My mother-in-law had called my cell while I was at work, earlier in the week to ask if they could pick the boy up on Saturday to take him to the Pumpkin Patch. They were taking Abby, and wanted Shayne to go, too. I told her I didn't see any reason why not, but that I needed to check with Mark & call her back. I gave my Hunny a ring on his cell, 'cuz he was at work, too. No problem. So I called her back, said we were good to go, and that was the end of it. Hunny & I didn't discuss it after that - why would we?
Well, Saturday rolled around, bright & sunny. At this time in his life, our boy usually slept until about 9ish. Hunny & I were both up, sitting at the dining room table (which happens so rarely, the poor table didn't know what to do) enjoying our coffee and the beautiful morning. Honey boy came out of his room, big sleepy smile on his face (his usual morning demeanor) and asked "Are Mamaw & Papaw here yet?"
Hunny & I looked at each other, and I then asked the boy "What makes you think they would be here?" His response was "Cuz we're going to da Punkin' place." Huh..? I looked at Mark.
Me: "Did you say anything to him..?"
Him: "No, it was going to be a surprise, why would I tell him..?"
Me: "Well, I didn't say anything..."
Little Psychic: "Mommy..?"
Me: "Yes, baby?"
LP: "Are they here yet..?"
Me: "Not yet baby, they'll be here in a little bit. How did you know they were coming?"
LP: *thinks a minute* "I dunno."
No one had mentioned it to him - Hell nobody knew but me, Mark & his parents, and I'm pretty sure they didn't phone up the not-quite-3-year-old to tell him. He just knew.
Moving into the future, we were coming home from visiting "Christmas At The Zoo" this past December, about 9ish at night. Daddy was driving, I was riding shotgun, and our boy was in the back in his booster seat. It had been a successful visit, Santa was visited, Mrs. Claus was hugged (as were most of the females, big & small, within range *whew* he's sumptin'), Blitzen was petted, and the dolphins had been a big hit as well.
So, as we headed up Lynhurst Ave, and neared the intersection where the Speedway is,
My Hunny says: "Tell Mommy what you saw here..."
Shayne: "Huh..?" as he looks up from something he was studying.
Hunny: "What did we see here, coming home the other day..?"
Shayne: "Oh yeah, we saw a car had hit a truck."
Hunny: "Very Good." He then went on to tell me they had seen a wreck coming home a few days back. From the back seat came
Him: "There was another wreck, too."
Me: "There was..? Where"
Him: "On 70..."
Me: "What happened?" I was basically humoring him at this point, as I was sure it was something he had imagined, or seen on TV or heard about.
Him: "There was a truck & a car and a smaller truck, and it was upside down, and they all crashed together."
Me: "I see...when did this happen?"
Him:" I dunno."
And that was the end of it...until the next morning. When I got up, I fumbled through my usual routine. As I was going through the local news on WTHR, there it was...the night before, early morning actually, about 3 or 4 am, a car had crossed the median on I-70, crashed into a semi, which in turn had sideswiped a pickup. There was a picture. It showed a mashed up little car, a minimally damaged semi, and a pickup - on it's roof. Yeah, it gave me a bit of a chill. Hell, just typing it, thinking about it again, gave me a new chill.
The last incident was much less serious, but "spooky" just the same. Any of you who are regular readers know how my mornings go. If you aren't a regular, you can read about them here. I don't do morning well, and I try to shower in the evening so I don't have to mess with it in the morning. And my morning routine is pretty well set in stone - I don't try to function in any meaningful way until I've been up at minimum about an hour. Need coffee, first & foremost. Always.
But one night about a month ago, Shayne didn't get a bath one night, and I hadn't managed to squeeze in a shower either. The next day was one of my "early days", and the boy was going somewhere or doing something that required squeaky cleanliness (have no idea what it was now...LOL). So as I was laying in bed, almost asleep, I decided I would get up & immediately jump in the shower with the boy. That way we could both get clean, and doing it first thing, though NEVER DONE BEFORE during Shayne's lifetime, would (hopefully) allow us a little extra time to get everything else we needed to do done. After making my decision, I drifted off to no-dreamland (I never remember them, so I'm not convinced I have them...). I didn't talk to my hunny (he was already out, takes him all of about 30 seconds to fall out). I just thought it and fell asleep.
The next morning, my boy comes in and snuggles up to me about 8:30ish. I looked at the clock and realized I had slept later than I should have. As I sat up in bed, my boy hopped out of it, turned around to look at me and said
Him: "Are you ready to get in the shower now Mommy?"
Him: "Are you ready to get in the shower now, Mommy..?"
Me: "Why would you ask me that? I'm not even out of bed yet" While thinking to myself *there he goes again*
Him: *shrugging* "I dunno, I just did...So are you?"
We did get up & shower, but how did he know? I NEVER shower straight out of bed NEVER. He's never asked that before - or since, I might add.
These are just a few examples, there have been many more little things, things I can't even think of right now.
OH OH OH Speaking of Things, I've determined another of my Things. You know how some rooms have two entrances and two light switches? Or the stairs have two top & bottom? Well, apparently it bugs me to have the switch in the "incorrect" position - you know, up and the light is off, or down when it's on? I found myself crossing my laundry room to turn off the light, just so I could cross back - in the dark - to turn it back on and put the switch in the up position. Man I'm weird...LOL
Oh yeah, and my boy, who attended his 3rd (yes third) night of Karate class tonight, earned a red stripe on his belt already! Daddy was with him, but when I asked what it was for, he just said "I dunno, he was kicking..." Men! I'll hafta find out Tuesday when I'm off and I can go.
Ok, I'm going to bed now, the letters on the keyboard are blurring....
See ya laterzzzzzzzz
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sometime about the beginning of April, my hunny starts back racing. For the season. EVERY Saturday. Now don't get me wrong, I don't really have a problem with him doing this. Everybody has to have things they do without their "other half" or the relationship gets smothery. But on a weekend like this one, I could just scream...ARRRRGGGGHHHH.
Our boy was in fine form - just remove the "usually" and "sweet" from my description of him, and there you have it! He definitely earned the title "Monster Boy" over the past few days.
Saturday started okay...but then we had to start motorvating, so we could go see Mamaw & Papaw. He was so excited about going over there, it was the first thing out of his mouth as he came out of his room after waking up, and was again mentioned every, oh I don't know, FIVE MINUTES. But when it came time to get ready, he wanted to hem & haw around (as usual).
Me: "Get dressed so we can go see Mamaw & Papaw."
Him: "OK" and scurried off to room
Me: (10 minutes later) "Hey...what're you doing in there?"
Him: (Coming out of room butt naked) "Nothing."
Me: "Why aren't you dressed..?"
Him: "I can't find a shirt." He has a HUGE drawer Full of shirts...
Me: "How can you not find a shirt..? Did you look in your drawer?"
Me: "No? No? What have you been doing? Go get dressed!"
Now you would think I would learn...apparently I was at the bottom of the class for "Learning How to Follow-up With Kids Getting Dressed." Did I follow him into room to make sure he got a shirt? Nope. Did I check in two minutes, which is how long it should have taken? Nope. I went into my room to get dressed.
Me: (15 minutes later) "Hey kiddo, c'mon we gotta go if we're going to get there today..."
Him: (Coming out of room still butt naked) "Huh?"
Me: "What're you doing in there? Why aren't you dressed? Do you want to go to see Mamaw & Papaw..?"
Me: "Then GET SOME CLOTHES ON."
Him: "Sheesh, you don't hafta yell. All you hafta do is ask."
Me: Under my breath "Mumble, mutter, ask he says...grumble, yell if I need to! &%*#*^*%$&."
Him: (Scurrying to room and back) "Look Mom, I got clothes, can you help me get dressed?"
Me: (Still grumbling) "You're a big boy, why do you need me to help..? *sigh* Bring 'em here."
So I finally got him dressed and off we go. The day went downhill from there. We had tears, we had backtalk, we had yells (from both sides, if I'm being honest...), we had stubbornness. What we didn't have was a new game or toy from the store. I can stick to my guns...sometimes....
Oh yeah, and we had sneakiness. I firmly believe he is an attorney - probably defense - in a 5 year old body. If there's a way around it or a loophole through it, whatever IT may be, he can find it. GRRRR
On the way to the grandparents house, we had a talk during which I told him "No pestering (he's the most persistent kid on the planet, I swear), no asking about the bike, no asking about the video game, DON'T PESTER, we're going to visit Mamaw & Papaw, not their toys."
That worked out real well.
When we got there, our niece Abby was visiting, she's about a yearish younger than my boy. About 5 minutes into the visit, he looks at Papaw and says "Did Abby bring a bike for her?" My ears perked up at this, and I flashed him a warning look. Yes, he saw, he knew what he was doing, he kept looking towards me to see my reaction to his question. I said "AH AH AH AH" or some similar Mom noise. Both grandparents looked at me like I was nuts...
Me: "Hey! What did we talk about in the car? Didn't I say NO BIKE questions"
Him: "You said not to ask about my bike"
Papaw: "Aww Abby has her bike on the porch, I'm sure he saw that and asked..."
At which point my boy rushes over to the couch, climbs up and looks out the window, seeing the bike FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Me: "He didn't see that bike! I told him he couldn't ask about "his" bike while we were here, so he found a way around it..."
What do you do..? He technically did what I told him, he didn't ask about "his" bike, or if he could ride it...he asked about Abby's bike. See? attorney in a 5 year old body. If there's an angle, he can work it. And, Saturday was only half over...I can feel my blood pressure rising, and the gray hairs forming as I type....*sigh*
But, it was a successful visit, and fun was had by all :)
On a serious note, this is a problem in our household, I feel it would be BAD to stifle this in my boy, but on the other hand, it makes for some trying situations. Like I told hunny the other day, I want him to think for himself, and not follow the crowd or timidly do as he's told all his life. Authority figures are not God/desses, and make mistakes, including us. He shouldn't unquestioningly do what he's told when he's told for the rest of his life. But I can't have him questioning us every time we ask or tell him to do something. I'm nearing my wits end, and I still have a loooong way to go on this ride...
Ah well, that's all for now
See ya laterzzzzzz
Saturday, April 26, 2008
It's Saturday. Woohoo! I actually get two days in a row off! I have to pay for it by working 6 straight, but hey, what can you do? I really can't b*tch - much. Well...I can b*ith - after all I am female, and it comes with the bumps in the shirt. But regarding my job and my employer, they just don't give me much fodder for the old b*tchmill....
I'd have to say, the (da, da, dum) Cable Company that I work for is probably one of the best companies around to work for, all in all. Not as good as what I hear Google is, but they're probably the exception ;)
My schedule is kinda sucky, I work 12:30-9 on Mondays & Saturdays, 11-8 on T, W & Th, and 12-8:30 on Friday. It tends to contribute a bit to my general confusedness. As far as the time of day, I'm good with it, but my hunny..? Not so good, although he has recently said that he's become used to it. If he had his druthers, he'd druther I worked 9-5, but those hours are rare in general, and almost non-existent at my company. There are a few that do get them, but it's mostly upper management, and the office folks. And truly, they suit me better than 9-5 ever will. I can work those hours, and I have, but if I were on my own, they wouldn't ever be my first choice. But I'm not, I have a hunny & a (usually) sweet (monster) boy to consider as well.
The pay really isn't that great, the low end of the scale for similar positions around the country. But the benefits rock, which makes up for the pay being low. The benefits really rock.
The people, and the company's attitude towards employees, are great! In most companies, you're just another cog on the wheel, and that's the way you are treated by everyone from your immediate supervisor on up. Many companies claim an "open door policy" but woe to he who dares to walk up to that door, let alone through it. Pretty much the kiss of death. Many companies also claim to care about their employees, and by extension their employees" families, but don't try being sick, or Goddess forbid, have a sick child. They give you sick days & penalize you for using them. They give you vacation time, but when you ask to use it you have to jump through 15 hoops to even get it considered. I could go on and on, but any of you in the work force, and those who live with someone in the work force know what I'm talking about.
But not at this company. In my experience, employees are truly encouraged to make use of their open door policy. And when you do, management listens to what you have to say, then asks you for assistance from you (if possible) in correcting your issues. If you are sick, or your child is sick, and you have available time (given at a rate of 6.66 hours per month, that's 10 days a year) you don't get a hard time or the 3rd degree for calling in. Also (and this may seem like a small, insignificant thing, but it really isn't) when you return, folks ask how you/your child are.
The president of our division(?) started out as an installer. The lady over the whole Customer Service department, started out as a rep. They listen to your concerns, they try to address any issues, and fix whatever may be "broken." These are things you don't often find in today's companies, and I am thankful to be working at a place that encompasses all of these things.
Hmmmm...that's not the post I had in mind when I sat down here, but I guess it's the one I was supposed to write..*grin*
See ya laterzzzzzz!
Friday, April 25, 2008
I've been told that I can draw, but I'm not so sure...but I do enjoy it. It is a soothing, calming activity that I don't do nearly enough. So I may give this a go. There's no requirement that you have to submit on a regular basis, so I can when I have time and not when I don't. But it might be the impetus I need to pick up pencil & paper again...
Ok enough for now.
See ya laterzzzzzzz!
Now I wouldn't label myself an aggressive driver, but I definitely wouldn't fall into the timid category, either. I like to drive. I like the feel of all that POWER under me, that I have FULL control of. I like to go fast. (insert Tim Allen grunts here). Will I run a yellow light? You betcha - providing the guy turning left from the other direction doesn't have the same idea. Do I speed? No, I would NEVER do something like that.....(whatever). I have no problem jumping into a space I just fit into to go around the idiots other drivers that are going 20 mph under the speed limit - and that's another thing...why is it that when you're in a hurry, you always get BEHIND the person who feels a need to go 10mph UNDER the legal speed limit?
Now keep in mind that I have different driving styles, dependant upon who is in the vehicle with me. If I have my boy in the car with me, I am a totally different driver. I don't speed. I don't run yellow lights. I am responsible for him as well as myself, and while I am (in my humble opinion, and exceptional driver - I've had 2 accidents in 24 years, and both times someone ran a red light at an intersection and hit ME) I still won't do it. I also have in the back of my mind that kids learn what they see much more permanently than what they are told. Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that "Do as I say and not as I do" doesn't work *grin.* So I want to try to teach him good, safe driving habits by example. (Hey, it's my fantasy, it can be whatever I want...)
If my hunny is in the car, well let's just say that something about him being in the car turns me into the stereotypical female driver. I do all kinds of stoopid sh*t that never, ever happens when I am alone, or even when I have my boy. I didn't have this problem in the early years of our relationship, but now..? I just don't know. However, I have decided to let him drive, if at all possible, anytime we have to be in a vehicle together :)
Anyways, back to my original subject (I do ramble a bit, don't I?) In my mind, there is something just wrong about a Jaguar being passed by a Chrysler...don't get me wrong, I LOVE my car - she's sleek, she's fast & responsive, she has the G 3.5L SFI HO motor (found in only 28% of 2002 Chrysler Concordes) (more Tim Allen grunts here) - but she's NOT Jaguar quality. And yet, on a nice straight stretch of new pavement, the Jag allowed me to pass it. Not once, but TWICE (I got caught behind a semi). Now please don't think I was insinuating that there was a drag race taking place. This was normal driving. I'm just saying if I'm driving a Jaguar, I'm gonna be in front...(can you tell I'm kinda "feminine challenged" in the car department. This is one of the areas where my "excess testosterone" tends to rear it's ugly little head *grin*). Not only did it allow me to pass it, at (for me) normal speeds, it stayed behind me for about 12 miles. Not falling behind, which would indicate a timid driver, but just tooling along on my tail. IT'S A JAGUAR! DRIVE IT LIKE IT DESERVES TO BE DRIVEN - OUT IN FRONT!
Ahem...sorry, didn't mean to get overly emotional there...
It just aggravates me to NO END to see these beautiful, powerful, well-oiled machines, not just Jags, but any well-made sports car, being driven by people who have obviously bought them in an attempt to improve their standing or impress someone. It is an insult to these beautiful machines. Drive them the way they're made to be driven - fast take-offs, out in front of the lesser vehicles (I will follow a Jag any day, but I'm not going to slow down to do it... *grin*).
Ok, rant done.
Oh by the way, if any of you now feel a need to give your "being improperly driven" sports car to someone who will respect it and drive it with all the speed it was meant to be driven with, just leave a comment with contact info, I'd be happy to take it off your hands.
See ya laterzzzz!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
That rocks 'cuz it gives Shayne & Daddy something to do together on a regular basis. And Daddy was told "No coaching from the sidelines." I think he may have problems with this....but he'll be ok, I'm sure, I mean seriously, those folks are fully capable of putting him in his place - they teach Karate! I like that they have something positive to do together that, while my hunny is involved, he's not really involved.
I love my hunny, and he's a great dad, I would never say, or even think, otherwise, but in the discipline department he has a bit of a "drill instructor" mentality. In his defense, before our boy came along, he had never been truly exposed to kids. He has one sister, no nieces or nephews, well we have a neice now but that doesn't really count, because she came after. It's been a long time since he was a kid. He doesn't understand that kids hafta run, jump, yell, talk, ask questions, try not to go to bed, etc. They don't have any choice in it, it's in their nature...and our boy is unstoppable. He has more energy than a lot of kids, truly he does. He sleeps little - 6-7 hours a day. I know he should need more, but how do you force a kid that isn't tired to sleep? You can put him in bed, and he will lay there awake for hours. Every time. It worries me a bit, but I've told his doctor, and he doesn't seem concerned, so...
Anyways, Daddy will be the one taking him to & from most classes. I may get every other Tues, when I'm off, we'll see.
In other news *grin* I have been given a new med for the pain. It's called Lyrica - anyone out there that is familiar with it, I'd appreciate info on how it affected you. It makes me a bit loopy for a while after I take it, but then I get tired.
Oh, oh, oh - I actually slept ALL NIGHT the first night I took it! Woohoo! I didn't last night, but we'll see what transpires :)
Ok, that's all for now - gotta work ewwww!
See ya laterzzzzz!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
hmmmmmm.... I hate posting from work, where I don't have my live writer :(
Anyways, gotta go for now, but I may be back :)
see ya laterzzzzzz!
Whew, what a day...Nothin' is ever "easy" in my world...I've come to the conclusion that is a Universal Law, it's right there under the one that says I can't leave the house without forgetting something, and right above the one that says if there is a stoopid person anywhere near a telephone, and I am on the other end, they answer or dial as the case may be. It should have been a relatively simple day. Drop Shayne off, go to the doctor, go to the thrift store, go get Shayne & go to the Martial arts place. See, simple.
But no, at the doctors office, I did the test, then found out that instead of seeing my usual dr, I was seeing Dr Chris. Now don't get me wrong, I like Dr Chris, and my boy LOOOOVES Dr. Chris. But this is another of my Things. I don't feel that I am getting the best possible care if I don't see the same Dr at every visit. I know they're all good, or they wouldn't be there. I also know they all have access to the same records. They know what meds I take, they know what tests I've had, and they know who I am (a VERRY good quality in Dr working in a multiple practice.) But they don't know what was said in the conversations during prior appointments...
Then it turned out I was due for my Depo shot. I was unaware of this so didn't get the prescription filled before I went. So I did the appointment, went to Wal-Mart down the street to get the Rx filled, should be simple, right? Nope. Not in my world. Wal-Mart pharmacy was closed for lunch...go figger. So I went to Meijers, waited 15 minutes, got it filled, drove ALL THE WAY back to the Dr's office & got my shot. This cut into my shopping time...
I rarely get to shop without my boy, so I intended to take full, meandering advantage. Except now, instead of having 3 hours, I only had about an hour and a half. It's a thrift store, you can't find all the good stuff with time constraints like that...
Then it was off to get the boy. For a change, he was ready to go. He actually was standing at the door, coat in one hand, Gameboy in the other, practically dancing, waiting for me. I was tugged unceremoniously to my car, and barraged with "How far to the Karate place? How many minutes? Will Daddy be there? (he was) How much further? How many more minutes...
We did have a little fun on the way. I had all the windows down & the sunroof open, so it was rather windy in the car. He sat in back with his arms raised to the breeze, just laughing & having a good ol time :)
We got caught in construction...I tried to go around it like I usually do, only to find that when I got across from where the studio is, the road was closed and I couldn't get across. Backtrack time...
But we got there with a little time to spare. He had a blast! OK, going to bed now to toss & turn, then fall asleep so I can do my nightly wake-up-every-houd-on-the-half-hour. (actually it usually on a "7" 1:47, 2:37, etc)
I will leave you with some pics from today
Lookit that foot! And he doesn't even seem to notice it's not in a natural position...can you do that?
Here he is, proud as punch in his new uniform
Here is the back of the uniform...he's a Little Dragon...how appropriate is that..?
Ok g'night :)
See ya laterzzzz!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Anywho, gotta fly ('cuz I'm a witch, and that's what we do *grin*...)
See ya laterzzzzz!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Well. it's back. The pain that is. Ok, that's not exactly accurate 'cuz it never really went away. It just had lessened enough for a week or so that it wasn't in the forefront of my thoughts. What pain, you say? That's a good question. It's not in any specific part of my body - well it is, but not always the same part of my body. Sometimes it settles in my lower back and hips, making it painful to walk, stand, sit or lie down. It has also settled in my calves, making it feel as if I had done a thousand lunges ( I hadn't). It has been in my spine & neck. It has been in my forearms. Currently it is making it's presence felt in my shoulders and upper arms. It hurts. A lot.
How weird, huh? The magical moving pain...lol. It will usually settle in an area for a week or so, than wander to a different body part. The last week or so, it has been almost non-existent. Not gone, no, never gone, but very mild. To the point I could basically ignore it. But this morning it has reared it's ugly little head to say "Hey, didja miss me? I'm back."
From what research I've done, I think it may be Fibromyalgia. My doctor has also suggested this, without my mentioning it first, but he is hesitant to make this diagnosis. He wants to rule out other stuff first. I've had tests - dear Goddess have I had tests. Tests (Heh, I types testes there...roflmao) for rheumatoid arthritis, for osteoarthritis, body scans, tests with wires running to me, one where I was injected with radioactive stuff. All negative. I have another tomorrow. I wish he would make a determination and get on with it *sigh*
There is no cure for fibromyalgia, but there are treatments, It isn't fatal, just life long pain....but that I can deal with, mostly :) But the diagnosis, any diagnosis at this point, would be reassuring. At least then I would know I'm not imagining things. I'm not losing my mind (not that I have much left of that...) I've had intense headaches for years. Well, really just one looooong headache that varies in intensity. I can sleep 12 hours (mmmmm...sleep) every night and still be exhausted. I have other issues I won't go into here, but that are considered symptoms of fibromyalgia. It would explain a lot. (I don't really, in the "front" of my brain think I am, but there's that evil little voice in the back saying "Pain doesn't move around your body! You're looking for attention. Want people to feel sorry for poor little you." I DON'T. I've tried to beat this voice into submission, but it's pretty tough. I don't listen to it much, but sometimes, laying in bed, trying to find a position that is comfortable for more than two minutes, it'll catch me off-guard and start in...
Ok, enough sniveling for now. I'll probably be back later, hopefully in a better frame of write...heh.
See ya laterzzzzzzHere
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Everybody has "things". Things that bug them, things that delight them, and things that have to be "just so". We all do it, don't try to deny it, I hear you saying "I don't have any of these things. I am a well balanced, normal individual." Whatever.
I may have more things than most...or maybe it's just more that I admit to, not sure. My hunny has things. His are a bit off-the-wall tho
***just an observation, your things are, in your mind perfectly normal & rational. Other people's things, on the other hand tend to be a bit "out there" if you know what I mean. I'm just saying....
I've also noticed that as I age, I acquire more things...and I don't mean things like wrinkles, though I am acquiring those too...
One of my major "Things" is that I WILL NOT go ANYWHERE without my vehicle, or a vehicle I am in complete control of. I have the keys. I determine where we're going next. I say when we're leaving (NO I don't have any control issues, really...why would you think that..?). I've tried. I have managed to allow myself to go places with my hunny, in his truck. But it's my truck, too, right? Folks who know me are aware of this "Thing." Anytime it is suggested we (whoever we happens to be at any given time), go somewhere as a group, or couples, the subject of who is riding with who never really comes up anymore. They know I will drive. I have to. I'll happily chauffeur however many people we can cram into my car, but I'M NOT RIDING.
Another "Thing" is that I don't wake up well (see my typical morning HERE), This is accepted by all intelligent life forms. Well, all of them except my 5 year old (GRRRR) He wakes up disgustingly cheerful, like his father.
My towels have to be folded a certain way. (This came from my mother. How do I know..? My sister has this Thing, too) I like my Coke from a can - not a 2-liter, not a plastic bottle, a CAN. Oh, and I don't drink Pepsi, EVER, for ANY reason. I have to have a flat pillow. I can't stand my hair to be in my face or on my neck when I am trying to sleep (as a result of this "Thing", I have to lay down on my side, lift my head and tuck any long hairs under it, and then bury one hand in my bangs, holding them off my face. It makes for some interesting morning 'dos, lemme tell ya). I don't like to eat in the dark, or semi-dark. When I load the dishwasher, I want the silverware separated only one fork, knife and spoon in each compartment, ideally) I separate laundry by color, not fabric. Oh yeah, and then there's Christmas...oh wait, I better give Christmas it's own post...or twelve. I am definitely a Christmas person - married to the Scrooge, I might add.
These are just a few of my Things.
My hunny has Things, too, but as I said his are a bit off. He wants vacuum tracks in the carpet (like that's gonna happen LOL) I told him if he wants vacuum tracks he is perfectly capable of making them. Have I mentioned that he's a bit anal-retentive..? Not as bad as he used to be, but still...he wants his (yes, HIS & the boys') shower wiped down after every use (?). His sandwiches have to be put together in a certain order (I never can remember it, he's a big boy, he can make his own sandwich if it has to be a certain way...). He wants all the books on the bookshelf to be put in descending order by size - and the shelves above & below should go in the opposite direction. He has tilt steering on his truck, but I don't dare adjust it if I drive it, he has it "just the way he wants it". He wants the bed made (This has got to be THE MOST USELESS piece of housework I do daily - what's the point? You're gonna get in it and mess it back up in 12 hours or so...)
*humming- "Favorite Things"*
I said I would post about Things, and so I have. From now on, whenever you're stumbling through one of my ramblings, and you see something about Things, you'll know I have revealed yet another. Thanks for playing *grin*
See ya laterz!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
So, I'm trolling BlogExplosion gathering credits for some future use I haven't quite determined yet
**side note - if anyone reading this has any idea how BlogExplosion is supposed to work, please let me know. I have been awaiting approval for about 2 weeks, and have posted in different forums trying to get banner help & a blog review. I got nuttin'. No response of any kind, from any quarter...I don't even know what the credits are for...
and I came across this one Free Stuffs! This place lists all kinds of free stuff available on the internet. I haven't found anything that looks like a scam yet, and not a single link has taken to a place asking for money! Most do want an email addy so they can send you lotsa junk email, but I have a seperate email address created for just that purpose (sneaky, aren't I..?)
Anywho, just wanted to share. Have a great night!
This little person who lives with me is a never-ending supply of amusement, entertainment, thought-provoking questions (seriously), frustration, high blood pressure, and new knowledge. He has an extremely high energy level, as well as an (apparently) furiously working brain which soaks it - whatever it may be - up like a sponge. He takes everything in. He has taken to watching TLC, yes The Learning Channel. This is without any actual prompting from the parental units (ME & Hunny). We do watch a lot of educational type programs, History, History International, TLC, National Geographic, and others in that genre get a pretty regular workout in our tvs. But Shayne has his own tv, and we don't force him to watch anything. When he watches, which really isn't very much, now that I think about it...
So, I was upstairs getting ready for work the other morning, and he was downstairs eating his morning PB&J. He has a habit of "hollering" for whoever is within earshot to ask things like "Why is today called Monday?" or similar out-of-the-blue-and-couldn't-this-wait-until-I-am-done-dressing/eating/reading this page questions. And I hear "Mommy" come wafting up the stairs. Oh crap, now what..?
"Yes dear?" I always try to acknowledge him, I think it's very important not to shut out his questions and commentaries on things. Sometimes I only pick up every 3rd or 4th word and try to respond accordingly without accidentally giving a highly inappropriate answer. Example:
Me: "Yes Baby?"
Him: "Daddy drives a roll-off truck, and Uncle Mike drives a roll-off truck, and Scott drives a front-loader, and Charlie works on their trucks, and he drives a red Dodge, and Daddy drives a blue GMC and Uncle Mike drives a black Ford, and I'd like to have one of each of those so I can look at them and think how much I love the people who drive them. Next time we go to the store, can we buy one of each of them..?"
All of this is spewed forth from the back seat of my car at 65 mph during rush hour traffic. Needless to say I only get every few words, as I am trying to concentrate on the idiots, morons, inconsiderate, non-driving, in my way, stoopid people other motorists around me. This is where it gets tricky...a no at this point would be cruel, as he wants to "think about how much he loves them". It would also provoke a request for an in depth, detailed explanation as to why not. But a yes would be even worse - I'd have agreed to spend a LARGE sum of money. It's a fine line I walk...
Back to the other morning...
Him: "Could you come down here?"
My boy wants to look you in the eye when he has something to say.
Me: "Why don't you come up here..?" and one of my mother's most frequently used phrases flashes through my mind and tries to escape via my mouth "You're younger than I am" almost snuck out, but I locked the exit before it could make a clean break. I refuse to channel my mother if I can help it...
Him: "I want to show you something."
Now that particular phrase causes much speculation & remembering on my part...could be an ant (ewww, and he loves 'em) that snuck under one of the doors, could be a new kick/punch combo, could be a shaft of sunlight falling just right through the window, could be anything with this child...
So I try again: "Can't you bring it up here to show me..?"
Him: "No, it's on tv.."
Me: *thinking he's found a new toy to want, or a program to watch (and he wants to know how many days until Tuesday at 3pm...) "Alright, I'll be down in a minute."
I finished what I was doing, and went downstairs to see what was so important. Let me note here, we have a dvr - very similar to TIVO, can pause, rewind, ff, rec, etc- in our living room. He had the tv paused, and as I came downstairs, he began fast forwarding. He was watching "Urban Disasters" on (I think) TLC. It was about flooding. He wanted me to see that you need to climb out of a car if your overrun with flood waters....HE'S 5.
Hmmm. Re-reading, I guess I've kinda fallen off the path I had originally laid out for this post...sorry, my mind tends to ramble that way....
What I came here to say was that on Tuesday, at 5pm, my boy is going to be evaluated for and entered into martial arts classes. We would have done this sooner, but all of the schools (dojos?) I spoke to wanted them to be at least 5. (This new school starts at 3...) I think it will be good for him, as well as fun. He has lots of energy that needs to burned off, and, as he spends a lot of time around teen-agers, mainly teen-aged boys who think it's cute to teach the kid how to punch/kick/fight without an accompanying explanation of when it is and isn't appropriate (like they even know...), he needs to be exposed to these actions in a different atmosphere, as well as given guidelines. Every thing I've seen while researching this indicates that martial arts is as much about respect for others, and honor, as it is about the physical moves. Let us hope...
Ok, I'm done for now...See ya laterz!
Friday, April 18, 2008
As I mention in my profile, I am a witch. It's not something that will be a primary focus here, but it is a part of me. Ok, with that, I imagine I just lost a few readers. And that's your choice, and I respect it. But before you scurry away, humor me for 10 minutes, and read the following...
I only wish I had the skill & talent to write like this, but alas, I missed that boat. This was written by an extremely talented man who goes by DreamDancer. He has given me permission to post this in any forum, as long as credit is given. And it is, gladly....
Pathways: An Essay on the Freedom of Religion
© 2000 DreamDancer
Well, it had been yet another bad day in the office, and once again it was the fault of that new girl, MaryAnne. She is one of those Wiccans, a so called witch. How can anyone in their right mind make this claim, knowing that it goes against God and all of the teachings of the bible? She doesn't even have the common decency to keep her satanic symbol, her pentagram necklace hidden from the view of the decent, God fearing people in the office. She has some nerve. I find that I cannot hate her for this though, for I know that she has been deceived. Satan works his evil in ways that she cannot see. I've seen that so called Wiccan Creed that she has tacked to the wall above her computer. On the surface, it looks like a decent loving belief, but all one must do is look, look closely and see that by practicing this way, and not embracing Jesus Christ as savior, she is on the pathway to hell.
As I've said, it was a bad day in the office. Three times in the past few weeks I have been called in to see my supervisor, and he has told me that I am not allowed to preach to MaryAnne the word of God, to show her the error of her ways. Today, my supervisor told me that if I continue to "harass" MaryAnne, he will be forced to terminate me. How can he say this? He himself is a God fearing man. And, how can he be so tolerant of the evil that he sees insinuating itself into our workplace? As I lay down to sleep last night, I asked the Lord for guidance.
"God, grant me a true vision of you, so that I may better lead the faithless onto the righteous path,"
"Oh, a true vision of Me is it? Are you sure that you're ready, truly ready to see, my son?"
I sat bolt upright in bed, and there, at the foot of my bed, white of hair and beard, in a long, flowing white robe, stood the Lord my God. I made to leap from the bed and fall to my knees in front of Him, but he stopped me with a gesture.
"Kneel not before me at this time my son. Instead, rise and walk with Me, so that you may get a glimpse of what I truly am, as you asked of me in your prayer."
He took my hand, and as I looked, my bedroom was no longer there, but a pathway thru the woods. We started to walk, and I was too awestruck for words. We took the path to the left, and we were then inside St.Catherine's Church, in the middle of a service. While still standing beside me, God seemed to expand and fill the whole of the church. I could see smiles of contentment forming on some of the parishioners faces. I felt blessed.
God smiled upon me.
“The Catholics hold such pretty masses, don't they? I like to stop here in this church, because not only do they speak the words, but they live the life, thru teaching, helping the sick and poor, not only with handouts, but helping them learn to help themselves. Now let us walk on,"
We walked a bit further, and then we were in a mosque. At least I believed so, as I had never been in one before, but had seen pictures of them. The group of worshippers was not large, but I could see their rapt faces as they listened to the mullah speak. He was speaking to them of purity, both of the mind and the body, bringing them closer to Allah.
And as he spoke, God, dressed now in the robes of the desert, walked among them and briefly laid his hands upon each set of shoulders. And, from their faces, I could see that these men knew that the words of the mullah were true, and that their spirits felt touched by God.
And then we were back on the pathway. After we had walked a bit, we found ourselves in an African village. People with skin as black as night, the women with their breasts shamefully bared, were dancing in a circle, to the rhythm of the drums being played by a group of men. Somehow though, I was not offended by the bared breasts, and the music seemed to seep into my soul. God was then a mighty lion, and He let forth a mighty roar. The villagers did not seem to hear, but the drums increased their pounding, and the dancers danced with a frenzy.
And then we were back on the pathway. We walked a bit more, and were on the top of a cliff. There sat, painted and covered with feathers, an old Navajo man. As I watched, he seemed to change into the form of an eagle and take flight, and we were flying with him, soaring high into the air, seeing the vista spread out below us. And God, in the form of an eagle Himself, seemed to guide this other eagle thru the air, over mountains and thru valleys, until he came upon a group of men. As I watched, the old Navajo man was no longer an eagle, but a young boy instead, and he sat at the feet of these men, to listen to the words of his elders.
And then we were back on the pathway. We traveled a bit, and then we were in a forest clearing. I knew this place. It was known as a place of devil worship and evil. In the center of the clearing roared a great bonfire and kiwi torches outlined a circle of sorts. Inside this circle, in a circle themselves, stood 7 men and 6 women, dressed in robes of varying colors, their arms raised to the moon. Was that one woman MaryAnne? I really couldn't be sure. And God walked among them in the circle, touching each one. He seemed not to be an older man now, but as he made each of three turns around the circle, he was first a young girl, bouncing with energy, then a woman of middle years, with a tender smile for all Her children, and finally, an old woman, body bent, but holding Her head up with pride.
And a woman stepped forward, and yes, it was MaryAnne, and lifted her head to the sky. "Great Goddess, Mother of us all, thank you for joining us tonight. Stay if You will, go if You must. Know in our hearts You will always be welcome. Blessed be!!"
And we were back on the pathway.
As we walked along, ahead in the distance I saw the most beautiful man. Yes, beautiful, though I would never normally think of a man this way. With blonde hair, and a golden robe, he seemed to radiate sunshine. God and this golden man nodded to each other as they passed, sharing a smile together.
"My Lord" I asked, "was that an angel?"
"Well, yes, he is known as that to some. He is also known to some as a god himself. That was Lucifer"
And His words caused me to stumble. I couldn't believe that we had just passed the ultimate evil.
God looked at me, and He knew my mind. And he chuckled a bit.
"Think about it logically My son. The Lucifer that you know is a fallen angel, cast out of heaven for challenging Me. If I am the all powerful being, above all others, how could he do this? How could I allow it?"
"But, in the bible...." I stammered.
"The Bible is a wonderful book, as are the Koran and the Torah and many others, but they are just books, written by the hand of man, not written by Me. And, it's a bit confusing as well if the truth be known, but that's not up to Me to fix. These books are wonderful, but only as guidance, for each man and woman must think for themselves."
And, I believed He was right in this.
"Now, come forth, we must journey a little more before you go back" and He took my hand once again.
As we followed the pathway, we soared thru the stars, listening to the music of the heavens, we became a little flower and a mighty oak, we became a babbling brook, and a mighty ocean. We flitted from flower to flower as a little honey bee, and ran across the plains as a mighty stallion. And, all too soon the pathway returned us to my home. God held my hand a moment longer, and smiled into my face.
"My son, you prayed tonight for a true vision of Me. For vision, you must only open your eyes and see what there is to see. Good night to you".
And then He was gone, and I was back in my bed. A dream I thought, only a dream, that couldn't have been real.
At that time, a bolt of lightning lit up my room thru the window, and thunder crashed thru the sky, and I thought I heard, from seemingly far away, "Remember, the Lord works in mysterious ways My son".
This morning as I entered the office, I went to the machine for a cup of coffee, and standing there, I spied MaryAnne. As I approached her, I could see her barely cringe, and I could see in her face that she was expecting yet another onslaught from me and my book. She seemed to cast her eyes about for a way to escape, but there was none.
I walked up to her and smiled.
"I think I owe you a bit of an apology" I said. "I've been a bit narrow minded of late, and I really had no right to subject you to what I did. It's not up to me to say how you find your path to your spirit, and I was wrong to think that was so,"
MaryAnne just stood there, not knowing what to say.
"So, I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry, and I hope you will forgive my trespass. God bless you MaryAnne, and...uh.... Blessed Be?"
You know, I always thought that it was just a saying, about people’s jaws dropping to the floor, but MaryAnne did her best at that moment to prove me wrong.
© 2000 DreamDancer
I can't help it, I love acknowledgement - hell I think I crave it. When I have anything listed on Ebay, the first thing I do is add a counter. Then I spend the duration of the auction checking how many "hits" I've had. I just think it's awesome that so many people have looked at what I've done *big cheesy grin*
Call me geek. It's ok, I've always had a bit of it in me...it's even been known to put in an occasional public appearance. Well maybe more than an occasional appearance. But so what..? My inner geek is part of me, and tends to have fun whenever she ventures forth into the real world. Like now. She's squirming in the seat, grinning from ear to ear, and just generally being thrilled that someone commented!!!!!
Ok, back to work & surfing...
THANKS FOR MAKING MY DAY Y'ALL!
Our landlady called yesterday. She thinks she has a buyer for our house. My Hunny is concerned. But he doesn't talk to her on a regular basis, I do. I do everything bill related. The last couple of conversations have been about her being in a "financial difficulty". THAT concerned me...way more than her selling the house. I mean c'mon, think about it...You own two propertied, one you live in, and one you rent out. You get in a "financial difficulty". Do you take the rent money you're paid every month to pay the mortgage on your rental property, or do you make the payment on the house where YOU LIVE? Uhhhh....
So it's been in my mind for a few months that we could very well have our home foreclosed out from under us through no fault of our own. That would be bad. We just moved here in January, and we love this house. Really. I don't want to move again - EVER - if I can help it. So this whole "financial difficulty" thing has me a bit concerned. She has said repeatedly that she NEEDS to sell this house (have you seen the market for homes..?) and I've been worried that rather than renew our lease when it's up, she will want us to move, so she can try to sell it.
But now she has a buyer. A buyer that, according to her, already has OTHER rental properties (so they don't want to live here...that's GOOD). That also means they know it's not exactly to get good, reliable tenants, and so will probably want to keep the ones they have. A buyer that lives in this area. That is also good, to my mind. She says we'll do a lease extension, so our lease agreement won't change for the duration of the lease. They probably won't want to sell it, so we have a good chance of renewing our lease (but I am a bit worried about the rent going up...we are really at the high end of what we can afford now).
I went to 17 schools (count 'em 17). We moved 7 times that I can remember, before I was 14. As a result I still have issues creating lasting relationships. I don't want that for my boy. I want him to start school at a particular school, and stay in that system, with the same kids, until he completes his schooling. I want him to have, at 40, friends he's had for 35 years. People he knows inside & out, and that he can turn to for anything at anytime...If we have to move, he'll probably never have that.
I'd like to buy this house, but thanks to Wells Fargo (GRRRRR...that's a whole rant on it's own) we probably won't be able to do that for a few years, and it's those few years that worry me.
And so it goes...
Well, gotta get ready for work...woohoo (not). I imagine I'll be back later :)
Thursday, April 17, 2008
|This was a fun little quiz I found at /span>/>/>>/>/>>/>>/>>/>HappiNess It looked intriguing, (I love these cheesy internet quizzes, LOL) so I did me, my hunny and our (usually) sweet (monster)boy. The results are rather interesting, and actually rather accurate...no wonder there's head butting galore! ! ! |
Go ahead...try it, you might be surprised!
It started at about 5 or 6 months old. I hadn't been to a yard sales in ages, and on the way to somewhere, I saw a sign YARD SALE! TODAY ONLY! LOTS OF KID STUFF! and an address. Now I love me a bargain, clearance racks, (hubby will tell you I have radar for the clearance racks, and that I just can't resist 'em...and I hafta say, he's right *grin*), thrift stores, (although not really a fan of Goodwill-since the young dude in the commercials got popular, they've become a bit ostentatious), and Yard Sales. Why buy one thing for $50 when I can get a whole big bag of goodies for the same $50?
So, I pointed my vehicle in the direction the sign indicated and off we went. It was a nice spring like day, not too hot, sun shining, mild breeze. It would be my boy's first yard sale! We got to the address indicated on the sign. It was a decent looking house in an almost swanky neighborhood (I'm sure you know the kind I mean...). I parked & got the baby out. I had my purse on one shoulder and my boy on one hip, as we crossed the street and headed up the driveway to the garage where everything was on display. There were two young girls manning the helm, probably 15-17, cute in the way teen-aged girls are. We walked up one side of a table, and around the end. One of the girls spoke "Hi! Oh what a cute baby (This or some variation is heard on a regular basis, even today, any time we venture out in public)! How old is he?" Shayne obligingly looked cute and smiled at her. "Thanks. He's 5months (approx)." And I started back down the other side of the table. This child...5 months old, what does he know of boys & girls..? then proceeds to twist himself in my arms and attempted to LAUNCH himself at this girl. Arms up in a 'don't you just wanna squeeze me to pieces' gesture, big smile on his face, and eyes on the target (her). He almost made it. Luckily I had a good hold on him. The girls, of course, just giggled and "How cute"ed, meanwhile I'm doing my best not to drop the boy or my purse or myself (he was pretty strong, and he caught me off-guard).
Thus it began.
From the time he could sit up in a cart, anytime a female (occasionally a male, too if I'm being honest) came in range, they were fair game for :The Charm of The Boy". It started with grins and waves ("Oh what a darling little boy you have" "Thank you"). He'd hold those chubby little arms out to them...mainly elderly women at first...he loves him some hugs & kisses! (I'm actually kinda concerned this will get him in trouble once he starts school...)
The there came speech. He could now talk. And did. And does. Almost incessantly. And he loves almost everyone, and expects everyone to love HIM back. We stroll through the aisles of Wal-mart to the joyous refrains of "Hi! What's your name? My name's Shayne. I'm (insert age here). My birthday is December 13. I'll be (insert age here) on my birthday. When's your birthday? Do you have kids? How old are they? What are their names...?" And on & on & on it goes. We spent 30 minutes in the frozen food aisle talking to "Millie & Walt" one day. I have no idea who Millie & Walt are, never seen 'em before, haven't seen 'em since. He got hugs & kisses before I was allowed to finish shopping. I'm fairly certain that even now, almost a year later, they are still telling friends & family about the "friendliest child I've ever met". This happens on almost every trip to anywhere there are other people.
As he gets older, I've noticed a gravitation to younger, prettier women. Not girls per se, but women from about 15 to roughly 40-45...Older women still get their share, high-fives, hugs, "Hi! What's your name? I'm Shayne..." He's not actually excluding men, yet, but they are a definite minority. Unless they're with a pretty girl...well that's not fair, my son thinks all women are pretty, and isn't a bit shy to say so (although, this flattery thing...hmmmmmm).
Two weeks ago, we went to Wally World to get groceries, and other assorted sundry items we needed. We were almost through (only an hour and a half...some kinda record!) when I remembered I needed to check and see if they had a 12ish" X 9ish" cookie sheet type pan that I could use in my toaster oven. Dammmmm!!!! So off to the other side of the store we went. (The major disadvantage to having a store that carries everything...it's HUGE) As we rounded the corner by the baking pans, my boy hit pay dirt. There was a young girl, probably 16-23, with an older man, probably her grandfather.
"Hi! What's your name?"
Now my boy ain't no dummy. As a matter-of-fact, I'd say he's smarter than a 5 year old should be in these matters. This comment wasn't directed at the pretty girl, oh no, he made friends with GRANDPA first. He's got his game on - most males don't figure out that the "parental units" or in this case "grandparental units" must approve for things to go smoothly, until much MUCH later in life. Not my boy. (I'm so proud, but have a sneaking suspicion I shouldn't be...). He started a conversation with the gentleman, then made his (becoming) signature request -
*hand held above his head* "High-five..?" All males love a high-five. This man was no exception, he fell to The Charm of The Boy in about 10 seconds flat. He was grinning like a kid, holding & shaking Shayne's hand, and of course the requisite "Oh what a handsome young man you have there" in my general direction, "And isn't he friendly?" (gee, ya think..?).
Now, his granddaughter had, obligingly stopped when he did. The boy now kicked it into high gear. "Hi!" directed at the girl "She sure is pretty" said with a beautiful smile, directed at her grandfather and me, (but loud enough for her to hear.) Of course she melted. A young lady, blushing from a compliment given by a 5 year old, and grinning from ear. (helloooo..? he's 5)
We stood there for another couple minutes, then I tried to make good my escape "Well, gotta get to the checkout - frozen stuffs and all." As we began to walk away, The Charmer swooped in for the kill "I want a hug.." said in a plaintive way, while looking toward the girl, arms outstretched in her direction.
You know he got it...and a kiss...
I tried to warn her
At The Dentist's Office
"Watch him, he knows exactly what he's doing...I think he's perfecting his style early..." She just laughed and walked away. I fear for the women of the world in about 10-20 years....
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Good Morning ! It's my anniversary! My 9th anniversary! I've been married 4 times, but this is the first to go beyond 4 years. Now many people feel that "if it doesn't work out the first time, I'm not doing it again!" To me, that's a sad philosophy. What if you had taken that attitude about reading? Or riding a bike? Or driving a car..? These everyday things are much less important than a lifetime commitment and a person to share EVERTHING with. Well, ok, maybe not less than some of them, but equally as important.
If I had taken that stand, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I pretty much like me :) From each of the relationships I've had, I learned something - actually many things. and I'm sure that if you consider your past relationships in an objective light, you'll see that you have, too. I didn't always like the lessons, and they weren't always kind.
My first husband was controlling and abusive, I was 17 when we married, and I allowed him to be those things. I can't say I didn't know better, I did. The thing is, with this type of man, they have the ability to be every bit as kind, loving and sweet as they are hateful, nasty and mean. They apologize with (I think) false sincerity in their eyes, and we (women in this situation) want so badly to believe it can be good all the time, that we buy it. Over & over. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! I just took a while to figure that out, as well as how to do something about it... I did figure it out, and I left, I felt it was more important for my children NOT to see their mother abused than it was for them to have 2 full time parents, married to each other. I didn't want to teach my daughter that it was acceptable to be abused, and I didn't want to teach my son that it is ok to hurt people to get what you want. It was hard, I won't go into details here & now, I'm sure you've all heard similar stories.
My second husband ...well, that's kinda an odd thing. I'm not sure why we ever married. We really didn't have much in common. The night I tried to explain to him how my mind worked, that I thought in several "layers" at one time, and he told me (with all sincerity, I believe) that I was insane, was the night I decided it was over. It was also the night he threw a lamp at me...the first sign of violence. Again, I left.
My third husband, well, my third husband was a LEO. For anyone who knows, that should sum it up *grin*. He wasn't abusive...although if I hadn't become the person I was at that time, willing to fight back toe to toe...he would have been. (He always thought he could take me in a fight, and he never could.) You see, he had a need to be the center of the universe, his problems were the only problems on the planet, his needs the only needs that should be fulfilled, his wants the top priority. But that was in HIS world, not OURS. His parents (whom I loved dearly) had fostered this. Although a middle child, he was treated as if he were the baby of the family, always getting what he wanted when he wanted it. They also had a philosophy about children I disagreed with - if one gets something, they all get something. On birthdays, EVERYBODY got gifts, not just the person celebrating. The world doesn't work that way, and I think that's why he had a lot of the opinions/attitudes he had. He also had a tendency to "wander", if you know what I mean. But thanks to that, I met my best friend (heh, I typed fiend there...). I stuck it out as long as I could, but when I walked into a bar to find him with another woman, I was done. He wanted to "talk about it in the morning"....By the time morning came I was in another state (with his gins and leathers, by the way - hateful bi*ch, ain't I..*eg*).
Then there was Mark. He wasn't my typical "type". He was clean cut, handsome, soft-spoken, and LARGE (he's about 6'1' or so). He had a job, which he had had for a while. He had a house. He was kind. He slept in the same bed with me TWICE and all we did was snuggle...
Right after I met him, my mother died unexpectedly, and shortly thereafter, one of my friend's had her 2 year old daughter murdered by her boyfriend. My life got a little weird for a while, and we lost touch. When he finally once again entered my sphere of awareness, I was hooked. We spent a weekend in Evansville, visiting my sister & her family, and that night, we did more than snuggle *BIG grin* From that point on, with a few minor bumps at the very beginning, we were US. We got married on April 16, 1999. We were going to go to the courthouse in cut-offs & tank tops ( we had both done the whole dress-up and spend lots of money thing, only to have the relationships fail), but the weather interfered, so we wore holey jeans & leather jackets. I've never regretted it, not once, not for a second. He's not perfect - neither am I - but he's perfect for me!
I have a good life. It's not all sunshine and singing, but I have a caring, considerate, intelligent, respectful husband I can have discussions with. We do disagree, but usually in a normal tone of voice (no mistake, we have had some doosey fights, but not recently). I listen to his opinion, he listens to mine, then we come to a compromise we can live with. I don't always LIKE it, neither does he, but we can live with it. He remembers birthdays, anniversaries, etc. (I'm fairly certain there will be a dozen white roses waiting for me at work). He notices the clean house I spent all day on, as well as actually occasionally thanking me for things like laundry.
He also does housework (he's actually better at it than me), including cooking and dishes, running the vacuum. He doesn't do laundry, or grocery shopping, but I'm not greedy :) Our life isn't perfect, but nobody's is, and from what I see, it's better than the relationships of most of the people we know.
We have a beautiful, intelligent, (usually) sweet (monster) boy. He can be maddeningly frustrating at times, but then can't all children? I wouldn't trade him for the world, nor the man who fathered him after so many disappointments in that area (another story).
If I had given up, 'cuz it "didn't work the first time" I wouldn't have any of these things. But I didn't GIVE UP, and I am eternally grateful for that.
Happy Anniversary to me!
*Added 04/18/08* BTW, I did get my flowers - here they are!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Let me preface this by saying I will never be accused of being politically correct. I am not a bigot. I am not a racist, in any way shape or form. I feel sympathy for poor people living in (insert country here). I think everyone has a right to healthcare, a home, family, friends, a support network, food, clothing, etc. I also feel it is each person's responsibility to provide these things for themselves...Are there people who can't? Definitely, but there aren't nearly as many people who NEED assistance as there are people who OBTAIN assistance.
I believe each person's circumstances were created by that person. Granted, there are things that seem inevitable/unchangeable (losing a job due to downsizing, having an unexpected illness or accident, etc) BUT, it is the choices a person makes regarding these things that determines "where they go from here"
Example: Tom* is driving home from the Zoo with his wife & three kids. A drunk driver crosses the line and totals his car, killing his wife & two of his children, as well as paralyzing him from the waist down. This is an enormous tragedy. Truly it is, and I'm not in anyway insinuating that it isn't. But Tom's choices regarding how he is going to deal with this situation are what will determine where his life will go.
He can choose to wallow in grief, turn to alcohol/drugs, withdraw within himself, close out every person who tried to comfort/assist him, and in turn wreck(sp?) havoc on his surviving child by denying him/her the comfort, love & support they need. He can choose to feel his horror is the only thing in the universe matters. These choices will probably lead to a downward spiral, loss of home, job, family & love. Now we have a man without a job, without a home, without anywhere but the government to turn to for assistance. BUT HE PUT HIMSELF THERE.
He could alternately choose to grieve (c'mon, everyone can allow that...), comfort his other child, and be there for that child, accept comfort & support from friends and family, maybe even attend some counselling. He could go on to be a very strong advocate for an anti-drunk driving group (Isn't that how MADD was created..?)
So you see, it's all in the choices. Everyone is where & who they are due to choices THEY made...so I really don't feel much pity for most people....
Where was I going with this..? I know I had a point... Oh yeah, I was illustrating my lack of political correctness. Yanno, sometimes a joke is just a joke, not a jab at any particular person, race, etc., and a compliment is just a compliment, not sexual harassment. Speaking of which, why is it that if I tell a joke to my co-worker, and another co-worker overhears it and is offended, that is considered harassment..? It was a private conversation. I am a female, and I think the whole sexual harassment thing has gotten WAY outta hand....
I want to talk about war. (Uh oh, *taboo subject warning*) When did we forget how to wage war..? Our ancestors knew how to do it. You blew up/shot/killed/enslaved your enemies, took their s*it, and made it your s*it, and moved on to the next conquest. But not in today's world, oh no...in today's world, you blow up your enemy, then you allow them to continue to dictate to you. Oh yeah, and let's not forget to give them ungodly sums of money so they can rebuild their country, after we blew it up, while people in our country go without. There are many who really DO need help that can't get it due to the red tape created by all the regulations in place to keep the non-needy fron taking advantage of the system. Regulations, I'd like to add, that AREN'T WORKING.
Uhhhhhh....am I the only person who sees a problem with this scenario..? HELLO..? WTF? What happened to "blow their sh*t up & take it. Now it's your (our) sh*t"?
We went into the Middle East over non-existent weapons of mass destruction, supposedly. (I'm sure the fact that a Middle Eastern oil bigwig screwed over Daddy Bush in a multi-million dollar deal had NOTHING to do with it...) So now we're there, we blew them up, but this is where it gets fuzzy...why didn't we take those countries, and make them territories of the United States..? Part of the United States, governed by the United States, OWNED by the United States? Isn't that what you are SUPPOSED to do to a defeated enemy? I'm not suggesting slavery or anything extreme like that. Actually it seems to me that as American citizens, they would enjoy many more freedoms. No visa to come to US schools, no naturalization process to go through. But if we, as a country are going to be offended by the way they treat women and children, as well as whatever else it is that they do so wrongly, wouldn't it just make sense to take over..? Why are they still dictating what we pay for oil, and as a result, gasoline?
I'm really confused, and I just don't get why we have to pay almost $4 per gallon to purchase gasoline from a country that
a) is supposedly our enemy (WTF, paying our enemies for goods..?)
b) supposedly we have defeated.
I'm not usually very politically motivated or outspoken (does this even qualify as political..?) But the state of our world in the 21st century is just ridiculous! And I felt a need to get it off my chest.
*Tom is a made up person, Any resemblence to any person real or fictional is purely coincidental...I don't even know a Tom, unless you count my Grandpa, but he's been dead for about 27 years, so I don't think he counts...