Here I am Again!

Well., it seems I’m on a roll here! I am actually posting AGAIN! What’s up with that..? LOL

We officially have snow…well okay not snow, ice. On everything…The school bus is running on a two hour delay – one hour for me, since the boy goes to afternoon class – and I get to be late for work. Aren’t I lucky..? I hate, hate, hate being late! It’s one of my things. But, what can I do, I’m at the mercy of the school system. Again. I already had to make my schedule even screwier than it already was to accommodate the whole school thing…Oh well, such is life :)
On another note, I’m not sure what to do about my boy & sleep. Yes, yes, I know all children fight bedtime. But this goes a bit beyond fighting bed. You can put him in bed. He still stays awake. Until ungodly hours. He usually falls out about midnightish, and he’s back up at six. Every day. I wish I could function on six hours of sleep, regularly. I’d get a helluva lot more done! But I can’t. As a matter-of-fact, me & only six hours of sleep is a dangerous combination for those around me….one which unfortunately will be experienced by many tomorrow…
You see, today is my “niece’s” birthday party. So after school, my boy is going over there for the party & staying until I get off of work. After work I get to drive down there (it’s only about 20 miles outta the way…) and pick him up, which is going to put me late getting home & to bed, obviously. ‘Cuz I’ll hafta fight him for an hour, before I can even consider going to sleep myself.
“What..?” you say, “that’s not so bad!”
”Yeah” I say, “not in and of itself…”
But you didn’t let me finish! Tomorrow is the day Jingles & Bel get to go “see the vet” if you know what I mean. (Yes, I believe firmly in neutering and spaying. I have nothing against cute little kittens – I LOVE cute little kittens –but there are way too many that no one loves that end up as not so cute, dead little kittens.) We have a clinic here in Indy  called FACE. This is a low-cost spay & neuter clinic – as well as doing general veterinarian type stuff. It is also located very close to where I work – woohoo, I caught a break! Oh yeah, did I mention that I have to have them there at 6:30 am..? And that I live waaaaayyyy far from where I work…?
”So they hafta be there early” you say, “what’s the big deal..? And you’re wandering again…”
Well, you didn’t let me finish…When you add in the information above – that I have to go to my sister’s to pick up my boy. That isn’t simply a run-in-and-grab-the-boy-and-go trip. It will entail visiting. Did I mention she has a good friend of ours staying with her..? Tattoo Billy is renting her garage apartment currently. Yeah you read that right…TATTOO Billy. Who does tattoos. To which I am addicted…did you know that about me..? Have I ever mentioned the 40+tattoos I sport in this venue..? I can’t remember if I have or not, but there it is. I am not only a witch, I am a heavily tattooed witch *grin*

This is my right arm

My left arm…

My lower right leg…

The rest of my right leg, and a peek at my left, along with my pregnant belly….

The back of my neck (obviously…)

The rest of my back (twenty-five pounds heavier…)

So there you have a partial view of my tattoos….my, I DO wander, don’t I..? What in the world was I talking about, hmmmm, lemme go back up and see…..oh yeah! Picking the boy up from my sister’s house where her roommate is Tattoo Billy…well, I guess that wasn’t TOO big of a stretch…Anywho, the point I was getting to was I have a fairly recent tattoo, done in all red, that has hollidays (bare spots) that need filled in. And Billy will be there, so I may be tempted….the problem is, I have to get up at oh, I dunno, 4:30, to have the boy out to Uncle Mike’s and make it to FACE by 6:30…so I won’t get much sleep today, erm, tonight. And tomorrow is going to suck for whoever has to deal with me.

Oh yeah, did I mention at any point that we’ve been having behavior issues on the bus..? I don’t think I did. We’ve been having behavior issues at home, too, both of which started about the time of this last move. He received a “red light” for not listening about a month ago. They have a system that uses yellow & red lights – the yellow is a warning, and when the warning isn’t heeded enough times, then a red light is sent home to be signed by the parents and returned. Then about a week ago, I got a letter from the aide on the bus, and the boy had to write “I will do what I am told when on the bus” three times and return it. She also made it a point to call me and tell me that he’s a sweet, loving boy who is essentially very good, he just won’t listen – yeah, I’m aware, and we’re working on it.
I truly believe it is stemming from the move & upheaval recently, but still haven’t figgered out how to counter-act it…
The reason I find this blog-worthy is the incident that happened last night, and the following disagreement/discussion between Hunny & I. You see, my boy hit another kid on the bus last night. Actually, he elbowed him. In the face. Hunny was very upset about this. I am not.
”What?!?!?” you say, “how can you NOT be upset about your child elbowing another child in the face?” you ask…
Well, you need some background to get to that answer. (Yes, I’ll probably wander a bit, but I’m sure it’ll all tie in – it usually does…) Going waaaaaayyy back to before our boy was born (Please step into the Wayback Machine…)
I was working at an Osco’s downtown. Across the square was an O’Mallia’s (kind of a high-end grocery market). One day on my lunch, Hunny had come to visit. We were sitting outside, when a dirty, disheveled, scrawny (read: crackhead) man came running out of the store, followed by a young girl who indicated he had stolen some stuff and run. Hunny being the man he is went after him. He caught him – for a minute, until the guy sliced his arm open. But Hunny wrapped it up in a towel and continued after him…it eventually took six cops tackling him to bring him down.It also took 17 staples to close up Hunny’s arm.
“Wandering” you say “How is this even remotely relevant..?”
”I’m getting there” I say ”have patience”  
I relate this story to emphasize Hunny’s character, and to demonstrate how he responds to certain situations. If it isn’t “right” he will attempt to do something about it, rather just stand on the sidelines and watch. I am the same way. Neither of us is going to allow ourselves – or anyone within our scope – to be bullied or abused. We are teaching our children those values, which I firmly believe to be the right ones. I also think that so far, we’re doing ok.
Another anecdote: When my older boy was in high school, a kid that was a very good friend of his – one of the few he actually brought to the house – slapped a girl, within his sight. My son stopped him the best way he knew. The school then proceeded to try to punish him for his actions. Needless to say, I didn’t support such punishment. I’ll not support punishing my child for doing the “right” thing. He saw a “man” abusing a “woman” and stopped it, because that isn’t acceptable in our world.
These are two of the people my boy idolizes above all others. He follows their example. I have no problem with that, as those are examples of how a person should be.
One more side-note, then I’ll get to the meat of the matter, I promise. Hunny is very big on not tattling, but rather trying to handle the situation yourself. During the party, I know I heard him say at least ten different times “Stop tattling” when the boy – or one of the other kids - would come to say someone had done something (as kids are wont to do).

Now, back to the bus…
While coming home last night, I called Hunny, as I always do. The relevant part of the conversation went something like this…
Hunny: “Your boy got in trouble on the bus again tonight.”
Me: *sigh* “What’d he do now..?”
Hunny: “He hit a kid on the bus.”
Me: “He what?!?! Why would he do that?”
Hunny: “Apparently the kid took his candy cane…”
Me: “So he hit him with reason..?”
Hunny: “They aren’t supposed to have any candy out on the bus.”
Me: “OK, but that’s beside the point. Did he hit the kid with reason?”
Hunny: “If he hadn’t had the candy cane out, the kid couldn’t have taken it and broke it.”
Me: “So he not only took it, he broke it too?”
Hunny:”Yeah. But if he hadn’t had…”
Me: “Is he in trouble for having candy out on the bus?”
Hunny: “No. He elbowed a kid.”
Me: “If he’s not in trouble for having the candy out, then it’s irrelevant. He’s in trouble for hitting a kid that took his candy cane and broke it..? And you agree with that?” (said with great incredulity. 
Hunny: “He hit a kid!”
Me: “Apparently a kid that was bullying him…”
Hunny:”They aren’t supposed to have candy of any kind on the bus.”
Me: “???" We’re back to the candy. He’s not in trouble for the candy, he’s in trouble for defending himself…”
Hunny: “But if he hadn’t had the candy out the kid couldn’t have taken it.”
Me: “Agreed. But that’s not what he’s in trouble for, right..? So it’s a moot point. If he were in trouble for having candy on the bus, which is against the rules, I’d be all good with that. But he’s in trouble for doing what we’ve taught him to do..?”
Hunny: *silence*
Me: “Does that about sum it up..?”
Hunny: “But they aren’t allowed..”
Me: “Yes. yes, I fully understand! No candy on the bus. He’s not in trouble for having candy. Leave the damn candy out of it. Until he’s being punished for having candy on the bus it doesn’t f*&king matter if he is or isn’t supposed to have candy on the bus.”

***side note – none of this is screaming or hollering, we are lucky to be able to discuss differences in a normal tone of voice, even if we do occasionally use inappropriate language….

Hunny: “It does matter. If he didn’t have it…”
Me : “Ok. He had candy. He’s not supposed to have candy. Got it. But even so, that doesn’t make it okay for another kid to take it & break it. Even if he was trying to “enforce the rules” the proper way to do that would be to alert an adult that a rule is being broken, not by taking it into his own hands. Was it a bigger kid?”
Hunny: “I dunno, I didn’t ask.”
Me: “It sounds to me like a kid was trying to bully him & Shayne took it upon himself to not allow that to happen. On the night bus there are bigger kids…”
Hunny: “If that were the case, he should have told someone, not hit the kid.”
Me: “Really..? *note the sarcasm in this statement* How many times did you tell him – just on Saturday – not to tattle..?”
Hunny: *silence, again*
Me: “I’m fairly certain I heard it come out of your mouth at least 10 times just on Saturday…”
Hunny: *more silence*
Me: *waiting*
Hunny: “So you mean to tell me that if someone snatched your purse, you’re not going to tell the police, you’re going to chase ‘em down and stomp their ass..?
Me: “ What did you do when you saw a shoplifter running out of a store..?” (see there is a method to my madness…lol)
Hunny: *silence* (are you beginning to see a pattern here..?)
Me: “What would Tony have done? What would Mike have done? What would CW have done? What would you have done? For that matter what would I have done..? You can’t be mad at him for doing what we’ve taught him to do and being what we’ve taught him to be.”
Hunny: *muttering* “So we’re raising a little thug.”
Me: “NO! If he had hit the kid to take away the kid’s candy..? Then you could say we’re raising a thug. Then we WOULD have issues, ‘cuz I’ll be damned if I’m raising a bully! But he didn’t, he defended himself. I’d just about bet a paycheck the kid is bigger, and Shayne isn’t the first littler kid he’s done something like this to. And I’ll bet he thinks twice before taking something from some other little kid.”
Hunny: “Maybe. But what would you have done if he had broken his nose or something..?”
Me: “The exact same thing I’m doing now! If he deserved it, he deserved it! If it was a bigger kid, I hope he did hurt him, and not only that I hope he embarrassed him! Maybe he’ll think twice next time!”
Hunny: “He still shouldn’t have hit him with an elbow…”
Me: “What should he have done? Sissy slapped him like a little girl? Have you taught your son to fight like a girl? Is that what you want?”
Hunny: “No. I taught him to fight like a boy. Karate has taught him to fight like a boy.”
Me: “Then why would you think he would do anything else..?”
Hunny: “He still shouldn’t have had the candy out, then none of this would have happened…”
Me: “Grrrrrrr….You’re right, he shouldn’t have. But he did. And a kid took it and broke it. And he hit him. And as far as I am concerned he was justified. And I have absolutely no problem going to the school, the transportation department head, the bus driver or the kids parents, and making it clear that I will not punish my child for doing what he did. You want to punish him for having the candy out? Fine, I’m all good with that. But for defending himself against what is probably a bully..? No way. Not happening!”

Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think so. I talked to my boy when I got home and asked him if it was a kid in his class. No. Was it a kid in Alec’s class (the other kindergarten class). No. So it was a bigger kid. I told him it really isn’t ok to hit someone in most situations, like if you’re just mad, or don’t like them, but it is ok to defend yourself. We also talked about the candy. He said he was really hungry. I can see that, he hadn’t eaten since 11ish, and doesn’t get off the bus til almost 4. I’m not sure where this will go, but I stand by what I said, and I will defend him – and his actions - if necessary.

Okeedokeee…now that I’ve rambled away atcha, I need to go get ready for work. I always appreciate input…..

See ya laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!

First Day of School & Wanderings - As Usual :)

Today is the first day of school for my boy. We leave for school in about an hour & a half - and he's driving me absolutely BUGGY! I was woke up by the question

"Do you know what day it is?" posed to me before I even got my eyes open. . . never a good thing. I do mornings very poorly to begin with. And the child hasn't been more than 2 or 3 feet from me, except when I am at work, for the last month. It's starting to wear on me. That last statement isn't an exaggeration, either. I feel like I've grown an extra limb. When he's not up my butt, I hear "Mom?" literally every two minutes. If I get up to go downstairs, he follows on my heels, walking 6 inches behind me while I attempt to do whatever needs doing. He won't go upstairs alone. He won't go DOWNSTAIRS alone. He barely will go in his room alone, and I'm about over it.

Not very Mommy-like, huh? Yet another item to add to my things-I-feel-guilty-about list *sigh*

This morning, about every 10 minutes I hear "Mommy? When are you going to get dressed" or "Mommy? How many more minutes until we go?" or "Mommy how many minutes has it been?" This started at about 8:00. It's now about 11ish, and we don't leave for another hour - hour and fifteen minutes. AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH.
I'm very happy that he's excited about school starting, and hope he retains that desire to go to school for the rest of his school career, and I keep telling myself that this pestering to go is a good thing, but DAMMMM, I've heard all I want to! I am nearly as excited as he is, and I'm sure a lot more nervous. I mean c'mon - this is the arena where my (our) parenting skills will be judged, Daily. He's a good boy, but very energetic. I foresee ADD accusations in his future - with which I will  heartily disagree. I do believe ADD is a real "disease" and that there are children who have to try to function through it. But I also believe there are MANY MORE parents - and schools for that matter - who are unable or unwilling to deal with an energetic child and go looking for this diagnosis so they can medicate said child and therefore have a more pliable and calm child who will no longer challenge them.

The premise - nay the NAME - of ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder. This implies problems PAYING ATTENTION to something - anything. It doesn't mean a child who is high-energy, intelligent, full of challenging questions,and is basically - though not always - undisciplined. Yet (in my opinion) the majority of kids diagnosed as ADD are exactly that. And the adults in their world can't or won't cope with it. I truly fear for the world of these children's generation. What happens when they become adults? Does ADD go away when you reach a certain age? Or will they be medicated for life? And truly, aren't the adults who allow this to happen just giving these one-day adults an excuse not to be productive, responsible people? "Oh, I can't hold a job - I have ADD", " I can't be bothered to pay bills - I have ADD", "I'm not responsible for my actions - I have ADD" Kinda scary, if you ask me. We already have a generation of "It's not my fault . . ." adults who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions because they have a million reasons why nothing is their fault which have been spoon-fed to them since childhood.

Wow - I really do have a propensity for wandering from my original subject - that wasn't what this post started out to be at all . . . and just think - this is how my mind works all the time . . .

Ok, so, back to school and my boy. Who is currently sitting on the floor, leaning against the desk, about a foot from me. And every few minutes trying to crawl up in my lap . . . Don't go thinking I haven't paid any attention to him either. I have. A lot. I always do. I answer his questions when possible - even the pointless ones. Well, mostly. Except for the "What happens if . . " questions, which I DID answer for months, but have told him I will no longer answer if they aren't "real" questions. What are "not real" questions you ask? Let me give you an example.

Stacey lives about 10 miles north of us. We were going to get my car last weekend, which was even further south than our home, and passed a fire truck & ambulance with lights on going south. Here's the conversation:

My Boy: "Did you see the fire truck and ambulance?"
Me: "Yes . . . " (how could I not? I was driving.)
My Boy: "Where are they going?"
Me: "Well, someone is probably sick and they're going to help them and maybe take them to a hospital."
My Boy: "Or maybe they're hurt."
Me: "Yes that's possible, too>"
My Boy: "Maybe there was an accident."
Me: "Yeah, there might have been an accident, but we just came from that way and didn't see one."

OK, now here's where it gets jinky . . .

My Boy: "What happens if they're going to Stacey's house?" Now remember they were going SOUTH, Stacey lives NORTH - way NORTH from where we were . .

Me: " I don't think they're going to Stacey's, she lives the other way from where they were going."
My Boy: "But what if they were?".
Me: "Honey, they aren't going to Stacey's. Stacey lives that way *pointing north* and they were going that way *pointing behind us - south"
My Boy: "But what happens if they were? What happens if someone is sick at Stacey's? Or hurt?"
Me: ***starting to get slightly exasperated - mind you this is a very intelligent kid. As a rule, he grasps concepts and knowledge the first time around. He remembers things he was told, or heard, literally YEARS ago, and he's only five.*** "Shayne, honey they aren't going to Stacey's. No one is sick at Stacey's, and no one is hurt. If they were going to Stacey's, we wouldn't have seen them, because they would have been going the other way. Now please drop it."
My Boy: "But what happens if . . ."
Me: "That's just about enough 'What happens if . . .' questions. If you have an actual question, about an actual situation, I'll answer them all day long. But no more hypothetical questions. I'm done."
My Boy: "What's hypothetical mean?"
Me: *sigh* and we were off again . .

Ok, well I guess I oughta go clean out my car, since I'm picking Hunny up so he can go with us. Hopefully I'll be back later with first day pictures :)

See ya laterzzzzzzzzzz ! ! ! !

Do It Again...

My boy and I spent a (mostly) relaxing day at home today, just the two of us. My hunny spent the day doing racecar stuffs, much like every Saturday, from April to October...
The sweet boy had a low fever and was sniffly & coughy when I got home last night, and it was a little worse today. Not enough to really slow him down, that almost never happens. That child has a reserve of full-speed-ahead energy that is apparently limitless. He was up bright and early, as usual
*side note-I truly don't think he sleeps much...he'll fall out about 9:30ish, but 4 days out of 5 he is already up when Dad gets up for work at 3:30am. By up, I mean he is in his room, either playing the Gameboy or he has turned his tv on, amusing himself while we sleep. Granted, he usually comes & snuggles with me after Dad clears out of his place, and goes back to sleep for a bit, but really..! And, he's still usually awake before I am, sitting in the bed with me, Gameboy turned all the way down, playing games til I wake up.

So, back to today...my hunny left shortly after I stumbled through the bathroom/coffee pot/computer morning ritual, and we were off. It was a pretty uneventful day, but there were some high points. My favorite was when he came to me at the computer, with kisses & hugs "just 'cuz". I had wrapped an arm around him for the hugging part, and he lingered with his head on my shoulder (I was sitting, he was standing...). In a totally Shayne move, he backed from the chair a step and started to turn in a slow circle. I had an arm still around him, and started to walk my fingers around his middle as he spun.
Him: "Hey!"
Me: "Hey what?"
Him: "*Giggle* That tickled!"
Me: "Did it now..?"
Him: "Uh-huh!"
And with that declaration he started turning again, with a demand to "do it again". So, I did.
Him: "*Giggle* That's cool, can we do it some more..?"
Me: *shurg* "Sure."
At this point he decides spinning would be better than just turning, and proceeds to quickly spin around about 4 or 5 times, as I "walk" around his tummy and he steadily giggled. Then stopped abruptly...
Him: "Hey (between giggles) That made me a little dizzy..."
Me: "Yeah, that'll happen when you spin around..."
Him: "Let's do it - 2 more times?!?"
And starts spinning again. This time he went about 10 rounds before he stopped, wobbling in place, with that 'everything is spinning' look on his face. (I'm sure you've seen it, or experienced it...you know that effect you get when you've had two too many and then try to lay down..? Yeah, THAT look)
Still giggling he wants to go again. Meanwhile I'm having visions of my alreadystartingtocomedownwithsomethingkid spinning & giggling himself into a trip to worshipping at The Altar of the Porcelain God...but he was having such a good time, I let him go once more, then in an effort to get him to settle back down, pled tired hand and brought an end to it.
We also snuggled in Mommy's bed and watched The Fairly Odd Parents, (that's an odd little show...), the beginning of Narnia, some Tom & Jerry (how funny that he watches the same cartoons I watched 30 years ago!) and (of course) Sponge Bob (dat boy loves him some Sponge Bob).
All in all, it was a good day. We bumped heads (and wills) a couple of times, but the engagements were short-lived, and forgotten almost as quickly as they began.
I know that soon, this will be over, he'll be a Big Boy and silly games won't appeal so much, nor will he require Mommy Snuggles to feel better, but until that day, I'm gonna take all I can get! :)