Apparently Not Anytime Soon

So, it's lunch time. I turn on my phone and head out to the car. I call my hunny and I hear "You are being redirected to the Spint Financial Services Department..."
WTF?
I start pressing zero to get to a person, nope, not happening... so I sit thru the recording, enter my phone number when prompted (and what's up with that? If they don't know my sprint number, that I'm using to call them, why are they directing me to an automated "financial services dept"?) I listen to the automated voice tell me I have a zero bal, and finally get an option to get to a person. Kinda. I actually got to their hold music. Finally I hear "For training and quality control purposes, your call may be recorded." Let me just say none of my calls have ever been recorded because their quality sucks, and always has.
Finally, a person
Her: "Thank you for calling Sprint, this is Shinequa, can I have the number you are calling about?"
Again..?
Me: *gave number
Her: "And what is the passcode on the account?"
Me: "The answer to the security question is St. Sebastian's"

This is a whole 'nother fiasco with them...I'm not going to go into here.

Her: *computer sounds* " How can I help you..."
Me: "Can you tell me my balance, please?"
Her: *computer sounds "I show no balance due right now"
Me: "Can you tell me when the payment was made..?"
Her: "I show we received it June 5 - today"
Me: "And do you see what time it was made..?"
Her: "No, I'm sorry, we don't have that."
Me: " I do! It was done at, oh I'd say 9:30 this morning, through your automated system, since your website has been down for a week and a half, and I wasn't able to make it. And you shut my phone off, and routed my call to my husband to your financial dept...So why is my phone still routing me to your financial services department?"
Her: "I can check on that for you...'
Silence. Not hold music, silence. So I checked to make sure we're still connected. Yep, so I waited. And waited. Finally she came back on
Her: " I can turn that phone back, uh - can you hold again for me..?"
Me: "Sure."
This time I did get hold music. Lots of it. Eventually, she came back on the line.
Her: "I show that someone went over your minutes, $36 dollars worth."
Me: "You have my phone shut off for $36 that isn't even billed yet, let alone due..?"
Her: " Well, it says it says you have exceeded your spending limit."

Huh? Spending limit is $500.

Me: "Um, our spending limit is $500, how does $36 exceed that..?"
Her: " We show the spending limit is exceeded..."
Me: "Ok, so you're saying I owe you $536..? You've got to be kidding."
Her: "Well, I do show the limit exceeded..."
Me: "How does that work..? What exactly am I being billed $536 for, if I might ask..?"
Her: "Well, I can transfer you to Customer Relations, they would be able to explain your billing to you."
Me: "Who am I talking to..?"
Her: "This is customer Service."
??????????
Me: "Ok, so you're customer service, but you need to tranfer me to customer relations to tell me why you're billing me $500..? Fine, transfer me..."
Her: "One moment ma'am."
More hold music. Alot more.
Now during all this, running through the back of my mind is the knowledge that we just bought two new phones & "upgraded" our account, signing a new two-year contract to get the discounts, and that amount just about totals to $500. So maybe the phones were billed to the account, but the payments not credited..? I can live with that. I have receipts.
I'm still waiting. I decide to go back inside & see if I can access the website. Sure enough, it's back up. And there on the "splash" page it says "Amout due: 0, Available Credit Limit:-$36 Total used $536. Hurmph. I tried to pull up the bill, but the most current one available is the one I paid this morning. Go figger. About that time, a person came back on the line.
Her: "Hi, thank you for calling Sprint, this is Tranieca. Can I have the PCS number you're calling about."
Again..? WTF..?
Me: *gives number AGAIN.
Her: "Thank you, one moment please."
Me: "Sure."
Silence, again.
Her: "How can I help you today..?"
Me: "Well, you can tell me why it is that your website is saying I owe you $536, and my phone is turned off, despite the fact that I paid the amount you said I owed this morning..?
Her: "One moment please, while I look at the account."
Me: "Sure."
Silence, AGAIN.
Her: "I show there is no balance on the account..."
Me: "Yes, I know there isn't a current balance, but your website is telling me I have an outstanding amount coming due of $536...AND my phone is still shut off..."
Her: "One moment please while I look at this for you."
Me: "Sure."
More hold music.
This went on for 45 minutes of my lunch hour. To no avail! Apparently they can't access the call history untill the bill prints either. That will be June 14. In the meantime, they have "extended" me for 7 days, so my phone will work.
Her: "I have extended your account for 7 days, just give us a call when you have determined which numbers you didn't call so we can open a dispute."
Me: "That'll be rather hard to do, since you've given me a 7 day extension, which takes me to June 12. The bill doesn't print until June 14. So if I'm lucky I might get it by June 17. Just how exactly will I be calling you..?"
Her: "Oh, ah ummm, just let me see how I can help you with this."
Silence.
Her: "Well, I have extended your account for 7 days...blah, blah, blah...so on the 11th you will need to call us again so we can extend your account for another 7 days."
Me: "Nice. So I have to call you back on June 11, to "re-extend my account," so I can call you on approx the 17th, to dispute the $500 worth the charges that aren't ours..."
Her: "Well, I have extended your account...blah, blah, blah... -
Me: "Yeah, ok, whatever - Thanks..."
Her: "Thank you for calling Sprint, and have I resolved all your issues for this call?"

She's joking right..? Did she hear what I just said...?

Me: "Uh...Sprint still says I owe $536, right..? I have to call you back on the 11th, sit on hold for Goddess knows how long, hope that you have noted the account well enough that I don't have to go through this all over again, which is doubtful, based on prior experience with Sprint (see previous post...). No, I'd say you haven't resolved any of my issues."
Her: "Well. uh, just let me see how I can help you with this..."
Me: "Don't bother."

Now, we've had cell service for almost 10 years. In all that time, we have exceeded our alloted minutes once. ONCE! by about 7 minutes, the month we bought our house & did a lot of "business" via phone.
ONCE - in 10 YEARS.
Now, according to my calculations, based on the information Sprint has provided, we have supposedly talked, during peak hours, since May 11, for 31.5 hours.
31.5 hours
Considering I turn my phone off when I get to work, and it stays off except for about 20 mins at lunch when I call hunny, until I get off. We have free nights and weekends, as well as nights starting at 7pm. Unlimited Direct Connect. And free Sprint to Sprint. My phone is off from roughly 10:30 am to 8 pm. I don't get up before 7, at the very earliest, but I'm no where near functional for at least an hour after that. That gives me from roughly 8:30ish to 10:30ish, on weekdays only (free nights & weekends), to rack up 31.5 hours of talking -from May 11 to June 5 - are there even 31.5 availble hours in there, with all the restrictions..?
I HATE talking on the phone! I hafta talk on one all day, and it just hasn't ever been one of my favorite things to do, even as a teen. 31.5 hours is a stretch. A long one.
Mercury.
And we still have quite a while to go...I'm half tempted to curl up in a ball in the corner of my closet and stay there until July or so...
Well, gotta go, work is still crazy (it's taken me 4 hours to write this)
See ya laterzzzzzzzzzzz!!!